holiday cards

holiday cards

Tis’ the season to spread the cheer with our joyfully, jolly happy holiday cards.
Sold individually and in packs.

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while i have you

outside text:
happy holidays to you and your family. and while i have you, happy new year, birthday, and anniversary.

inside text:
happy holidays

while i have you.
$3.25

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don't feel too special

outside text:
out of everyone we know, we want you to have the happiest holiday ever. don't feel too special though, we gave this card to a lot of people.

inside text:
happy holidays

don't feel too special.
$3.25

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family

outside text:
this probably isn't going to happen considering your family but we hope you have a wonderful, joyous holiday season.

inside text:
happy holidays

family.
$3.25

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wonderful holiday

outside text:
you're going to have a wonderful holiday full of love and laughter. and i'm going to be right outside your window, watching every second of it.

inside text:
happy holidays

wonderful holiday.
$3.25

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ugly tree

outside text:
finally, a holiday card that isn't a picture of someone's creepy family gathered around their ugly tree.

inside text:
happy holidays

ugly tree.
$3.25

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tralier park

outside text:
the last place i would ever want to spend the holidays is in a trailer park. not because i think they're gross but because i think the people are gross.

inside text:
happy holidays

tralier park.
$3.25

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perfect family

outside text:
seasons greetings from my beautiful, talented, perfect family.

inside text:
happy holidays

perfect family.
$3.25

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i'll cut you

outside text:
wishing you a very merry christmas from me and santa. and if you tell anyone i still believe in santa, i'll cut you.

inside text:
happy holidays

i'll cut you.
$3.25

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so screw you

outside text:
just because we're taking the time to send you a holiday card doesn't mean we don't have anything better to do. because we do. so screw you.

inside text:
happy holidays

so screw you.
$3.25

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white christmas

outside text:
i hope we finally have a white christmas this year so everyone would just shut up about it already.

inside text:
happy holidays

white christmas.
$3.25

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buns of steel

outside text:
the holidays are great because you get to ask santa for anything. this year, i'm asking him for new gloves and buns of steel.

inside text:
happy holidays

buns of steel.
$3.25

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waste of time

outside text:
i wish the tradition of sending out holiday cards would just go away already. i mean, this is just a ridiculous waste of time.

inside text:
happy holidays

waste of time.
$3.25

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big pink face

outside text:
sometimes i wish santa was real so i could hold him down and fart all over his big pink face.

inside text:
happy holidays

big pink face.
$3.25

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little child

outside text:
i love how the holidays brings out the stupid, excited little child in you.

inside text:
happy holidays

little child.
$3.25

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gingerbread men

outside text:
a lot of people probably wouldn't eat gingerbread men if the gingerbread men yelped when you ate them.

inside text:
happy holidays

gingerbread men.
$3.25

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prostitutes

outside text:
snowflakes probably wouldn't be as lovely if they were shaped like prostitutes.

inside text:
happy holidays

prostitutes.
$3.25

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that's not true

outside text:
nothing makes us happier than to watch people share in the holiday spirit. actually, that's not true.

inside text:
happy holidays

that's not true.
$3.25

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yellow snow

outside text:
maybe all that yellow snow is just snow drenched in butter.

inside text:
happy holidays

yellow snow.
$3.25

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burnt off tongue skin

outside text:
we hope your holidays are sweet and merry and you don't burn your tongue on a cup of hot cocoa and then choke to death on your burnt off tongue skin.

inside text:
happy holidays

burnt off tongue skin.
$3.25

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hate your house

outside text:
if i was santa i'd probably skip your house this year. not because you've been bad or anything. i just hate your house.

inside text:
happy holidays

hate your house.
$3.25

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