love cards

love cards

For a non-sappy, non-pukey way to express your love,
feast your big eyes on our bizarrely sweet line of love cards.

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their tongues

outside text:
i bet when people see us kissing in public they wish they were us and that our tongues were their tongues.

inside text:
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their tongues.
$3.25

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old and stinky

outside text:
just knowing we're going to grow old and stinky together makes me feel so warm and happy inside.

inside text:
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old and stinky.
$3.25

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other things

outside text:
all i want at the end of every day is you. and maybe a few other things.

inside text:
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other things.
$3.25

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little pinky toe

outside text:
in my eyes you're perfect. from your big round head all the way down to your weird little pinky toe.

inside text:
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little pinky toe.
$3.25

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kiss you

outside text:
if i could wake up every morning and kiss you all over i would. i just can't because i don't really have that kind of time to waste in the morning.

inside text:
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kiss you.
$3.25

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really stupid

outside text:
i don't care what we're doing as long as we're doing it together. even if the things you like to do are really stupid.

inside text:
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really stupid.
$3.25

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peas in a pod

outside text:
you and i are like two peas in a pod, only we're not peas and i'm not really sure what a pod is.

inside text:
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peas in a pod.
$3.25

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met them yet

outside text:
there's nobody i'd rather be with than you. or who knows, maybe there is and i just haven't met them yet.

inside text:
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met them yet.
$3.25

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without you

outside text:
i'm pretty sure that without you, i'd probably be unable to breathe and just like, die.

inside text:
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without you.
$3.25

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each other

outside text:
i love that we still love each other and that we haven't gotten divorced yet.

inside text:
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each other.
$3.25

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i'm so breathtaking

outside text:
it's so obvious everyone wants to be me. not because i'm so breathtaking but because i have you. and you're perfect.

inside text:
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i'm so breathtaking.
$3.25

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you were annoying

outside text:
every day i fall in love with you more and more. well, not every day. yesterday you were pretty annoying.

inside text:
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you were annoying.
$2.50

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loved

outside text:
i loved you from the 5th or 6th time I met you.

inside text:
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loved.
$3.25

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really in like

outside text:
i'm like, really, really in like with you.

inside text:
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really in like.
$3.25

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rhymes with mine

outside text:
on a scale of 1-10 you're a 9. not because you're not a 10 but because 9 rhymes with mine which is what you are.

inside text:
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rhymes with mine.
$3.25

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not having a forehead

outside text:
not having you would be like not having a forehead. i'd still be able to do stuff but i'd definitely feel like i was missing something.

inside text:
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not having a forehead.
$3.25

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guts and stuff

outside text:
of course i love your outsides but it's your insides i'm most in love with. like your heart and soul and guts and stuff.

inside text:
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guts and stuff.
$3.25

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together forever

outside text:
from the moment we met i knew we were going to be together forever. at least we better be. i've already started to let myself go a little.

inside text:
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together forever.
$3.25

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soulmates

outside text:
if there's one thing i'm sure of it's that you and i are soul mates. i mean, obviously i can't prove it or anything but whatever, neither can you.

inside text:
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soulmates.
$3.25

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i have you

outside text:
as you know i love everything about myself. but what i love most about myself is that i have you.

inside text:
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i have you.
$3.25

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best frencher ever

outside text:
of all the people i've frenched, you're definitely the best frencher ever. and trust me, i've frenched a lot of people.

inside text:
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best frencher ever.
$3.25

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life without you

outside text:
without you life would suck even more than it already does with you.

inside text:
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life without you.
$3.25

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giant jerk face

outside text:
anyone who thinks their mom is better than my mom is just a big giant jerk face.

inside text:
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giant jerk face.
$3.25

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needle

outside text:
if i had a big enough needle, i'd stitch our skin together while you were asleep so that when you woke up, we were like one person. one big happy deformed person.

inside text:
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needle.
$3.25

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flying cars

outside text:
i can't wait to spend my future with you. sure, it'll be scary with all the robots and flying cars everywhere, but at least we'll be together.

inside text:
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flying cars.
$3.25

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face off

outside text:
if we weren't together, i'd find the person you were with instead of me and twist their face off.

inside text:
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face off.
$3.25

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real arms

outside text:
i'm so glad i have real arms and not those tiny pink plastic ones. this way i can hug you real tight and not have to worry about them popping off.

inside text:
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real arms.
$3.25

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botox injections

outside text:
i can't wait to grow old with you and do fun things like read books and get botox injections.

inside text:
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botox injections.
$3.25

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be models together

outside text:
you and i make such a cute couple i bet we could be models. or at least i could be one. you probably wouldn't make it very far with those teeth of yours.

inside text:
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be models together.
$3.25

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feet like salami

outside text:
so what if you're not very athletic and your feet kind of smell like salami. you're still the best thing ever and i wouldn't trade you for nothing.

inside text:
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feet like salami.
$3.25

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fell down from heaven

outside text:
sometimes i think you fell down from heaven. not just because your face is all crooked but because you're like an angel. a sweet, sweet angel.

inside text:
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fell down from heaven.
$3.25

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contagious diseases

outside text:
clearly you're very special to me because not once since i've been with you have i thought about any of my severely contagious diseases.

inside text:
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contagious diseases.
$3.25

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best thing i've ever found

outside text:
finding you was the best thing i've ever found. and i've found a lot of stuff.

inside text:
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best thing i've ever found.
$3.25

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being with you

outside text:
being with you is so much better than being with someone that isn't you.

inside text:
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being with you.
$3.25

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crapped all over me

outside text:
if i woke up and realized you crapped all over me in your sleep, i would still love you just the same.

inside text:
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crapped all over me.
$2.15

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yank off your head

outside text:
you're so cute i want to yank off your head, stick it in a jar and keep it next to my computer.

inside text:
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yank off your head.
$3.25

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tongue

outside text:
i love being married to you and being able to stick my tongue down your throat whenever i want.

inside text:
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tongue.
$3.25

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you're really wonderful

outside text:
if only everyone had someone as wonderful as you. sure you have your flaws and you're not as smart as you think but overall, you're really wonderful.

inside text:
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you're really wonderful.
$3.25

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my lips get really dry

outside text:
if i could only bring one thing to a deserted island, i'd bring you. even though my lips get really dry and i should really be bringing lip balm.

inside text:
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my lips get really dry.
$3.25

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half of me is missing

outside text:
whenever i'm not with you i feel like half of me is missing. specifically my lower half, from my urinary tract down.

inside text:
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half of me is missing.
$3.25

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