card packs

card packs

just like regular uncooked cards, but in packs!

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you're welcome 6 pack

outside text:
you're welcome

inside text:
thank you for thanking me with your thank you card

you're welcome 6 pack.
$10.00

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perfect family 8 pack

outside text:
seasons greetings from my beautiful, talented, perfect family.

inside text:
happy holidays

perfect family 8 pack.
$12.00

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buns of steel 8 pack

outside text:
the holidays are great because you get to ask santa for anything. this year, i'm asking him for new gloves and buns of steel.

inside text:
happy holidays

buns of steel 8 pack.
$12.00

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ugly tree 8 pack

outside text:
finally, a holiday card that isn't a picture of someone's creepy family gathered around their ugly tree.

inside text:
happy holidays

ugly tree 8 pack.
$12.00

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big pink face 8 pack

outside text:
sometimes i wish santa was real so i could hold him down and fart all over his big pink face.

inside text:
happy holidays

big pink face 8 pack.
$12.00

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waste of time 8 pack

outside text:
i wish the tradition of sending out holiday cards would just go away already. i mean, this is just a ridiculous waste of time.

inside text:
happy holidays

waste of time 8 pack.
$12.00

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wonderful holiday 8 pack

outside text:
you're going to have a wonderful holiday full of love and laughter. and i'm going to be right outside your window, watching every second of it.

inside text:
happy holidays

wonderful holiday 8 pack.
$12.00

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while i have you 8 pack

outside text:
happy holidays to you and your family. and while i have you, happy new year, birthday, and anniversary.

inside text:
happy holidays

while i have you 8 pack.
$12.00

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enhiladas 8 pack

outside text:
JOY HOPE PEACE ENCHILADAS

inside text:
happy holidays

enhiladas 8 pack.
$12.00

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so screw you 8 pack

outside text:
just because we're taking the time to send you a holiday card doesn't mean we don't have anything better to do. because we do. so screw you.

inside text:
happy holidays

so screw you 8 pack.
$12.00

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white christmas
8 pack

outside text:
i hope we finally have a white christmas this year so everyone would just shut up about it already.

inside text:
happy holidays

white christmas
8 pack.

$12.00

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little child 8 pack

outside text:
i love how the holidays bring out the stupid, excited little child in you.

inside text:
happy holidays

little child 8 pack.
$12.00

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everest 8 pack

outside text:
wishing you the warmest happiest brightest peacefullest holidayest everest.

inside text:
happy holidays

everest 8 pack.
$12.00

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family
8 pack

outside text:
this probably isn't going to happen considering your family but we hope you have a wonderful, joyous holiday season.

inside text:
happy holidays

family
8 pack.

$12.00

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tis the season 8 pack

outside text:
tis the season to start annoying the crap out of everyone by saying tis the season.

inside text:
happy holidays

tis the season 8 pack.
$12.00

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hate your house
8 pack

outside text:
if i was santa i'd probably skip your house this year. not because you've been bad or anything. i just hate your house.

inside text:
happy holidays

hate your house
8 pack.

$12.00

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don't feel too special
8 pack

outside text:
out of everyone we know, we want you to have the happiest holiday ever. don't feel too special though, we gave this card to a lot of people.

inside text:
happy holidays

don't feel too special
8 pack.

$12.00

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i'll cut you
8 pack

outside text:
wishing you a very merry christmas from me and santa. and if you tell anyone i still believe in santa, i�ll cut you.

inside text:
happy holidays

i'll cut you
8 pack.

$12.00

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that's not true
8 pack

outside text:
nothing makes us happier than to watch people share in the holiday spirit. actually, that's not true.

inside text:
happy holidays

that's not true
8 pack.

$12.00

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gingerbread men
8 pack

outside text:
a lot of people probably wouldn't eat gingerbread men if the gingerbread men yelped when you ate them.

inside text:
happy holidays

gingerbread men
8 pack.

$12.00

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prostitutes
8 pack

outside text:
snowflakes probably wouldn't be as lovely if they were shaped like prostitutes.

inside text:
happy holidays

prostitutes
8 pack.

$12.00

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yellow snow
8 pack

outside text:
maybe all that yellow snow is just snow drenched in butter.

inside text:
happy holidays

yellow snow
8 pack.

$12.00

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burnt off tongue skin
8 pack

outside text:
we hope your holidays are sweet and merry and you don't burn your tongue on a cup of hot cocoa and then choke to death on your burnt off tongue skin.

inside text:
happy holidays

burnt off tongue skin
8 pack.

$12.00

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one of my meatballs
8 pack

outside text:
it brings me such joy to see everyone sharing in the holiday spirit. just yesterday i almost gave a homeless man one of my meatballs.

inside text:
happy holidays

one of my meatballs
8 pack.

$12.00

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second happiest
8 pack

outside text:
wishing you the happiest hanukkah ever. well, second happiest. i already promised the first happiest to someone else.

inside text:
happy hanukkah

second happiest
8 pack.

$12.00

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so stupid
8 pack

outside text:
i think it's so stupid that i'm giving you a card for thanksgiving. but i almost think you're even stupider for taking it.

inside text:
happy thanksgiving

so stupid
8 pack.

$12.00

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pilgrims
8 pack

outside text:
this thanksgiving we should be thankful for the pilgrims. i mean, they did a lot of stuff for us like invent stuff and find stuff.

inside text:
happy thanksgiving

pilgrims
8 pack.

$12.00

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hate halloween cards
8 pack

outside text:
more than anything i hate halloween cards. especially halloween cards with pictures of scary looking pumpkins on them.

inside text:
happy halloween

hate halloween cards
8 pack.

$12.00

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i'm busy 6 pack

outside text:
i can't tell you how thankful i am to you. i mean, i can but i can't right now. i'm busy.

inside text:
thank you

i'm busy 6 pack.
$14.00

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don't even know it
6 pack

outside text:
i'm so thankful to you you don't even know it. and even if you thought you knew it, you don't. so there.

inside text:
thank you

don't even know it
6 pack.

$14.00

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think i'm kidding
6 pack

outside text:
you have no idea how thankful i am to you. and if you think i'm kidding, well then, maybe i am.

inside text:
thank you

think i'm kidding
6 pack.

$14.00

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psychic
6 pack

outside text:
either you're psychic or you've been snooping through my things but the gift you got me was exactly what i wanted.

inside text:
thank you

psychic
6 pack.

$14.00

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kill list
6 pack

outside text:
i was so happy when i opened the gift you got me. so happy in fact that i even scratched you off my kill list.

inside text:
thank you

kill list
6 pack.

$14.00

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cheaping out on me
6 pack

outside text:
thank you so much for my lovely gift and for not cheaping out on me like some other people i know.

inside text:
thank you

cheaping out on me
6 pack.

$14.00

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perfect friendship
6 pack

outside text:

inside text:
blank

perfect friendship
6 pack.

$14.00

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grow up to be famous
6 pack

outside text:
i'm so amazed we're still such great friends. i always thought i'd grow up to be famous and forget about all the little people, like you.

inside text:
blank

grow up to be famous
6 pack.

$14.00

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idiot scientist jerk
6 pack

outside text:
i'm so glad i'mfriends with youand not some idiot scientist jerk named sandra.

inside text:
blank

idiot scientist jerk
6 pack.

$14.00

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borrow your balm
6 pack

outside text:
the best part about having you as a friend is that i can borrow your lip balm and not worry about getting herpes.

inside text:
blank

borrow your balm
6 pack.

$14.00

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pee on myself
6 pack

outside text:
not that i do weird things like bleach my lip hair or pee on myself in the shower but if i did you're the only person i would tell.

inside text:
blank

pee on myself
6 pack.

$14.00

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cloned
6 pack

outside text:
you're such a good person, your parents should have cloned you. even if it was really dangerous and there was a chance you could die.

inside text:
blank

cloned
6 pack.

$14.00

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potato salad
6 pack

outside text:
if i didn't have you, i'd probably pig out on potato salad every time something bad happened.

inside text:
blank

potato salad
6 pack.

$14.00

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