the weird ones

the weird ones

check out the weirdest cards we've made over the years.
specially selected with our flimsy rubber hands.

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bathing suits

outside text:
sometimes when you're not around and i really miss you i put on your lipstick and sniff your bathing suits.

inside text:
blank

bathing suits.
$1.99

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icing on calves

outside text:
i want to spread icing all over your calves and then wipe it off really sexually.

inside text:
blank

icing on calves.
$1.99

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throw up on my legs

outside text:
i love you so much i want to throw up all over my legs.

inside text:
blank

throw up on my legs.
$1.99

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suck on my neck

outside text:
i love the way you suck on my neck and how your breath smells after you eat turkey burgers.

inside text:
blank

suck on my neck.
$1.99

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sweaty and wobbly

outside text:
sometimes when i look at you i get all sweaty and wobbly, like a wet cookie teetering on the edge of a table.

inside text:
blank

sweaty and wobbly.
$1.99

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warm and sticky

outside text:
you make me feel warm and sticky. like i'm in a cocoon or something.

inside text:
blank

warm and sticky.
$1.99

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idiot scientist jerk

outside text:
i'm so glad i'mfriends with youand not some idiot scientist jerk named sandra.

inside text:
blank

idiot scientist jerk.
$1.99

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sick instead

outside text:
i wish rather than you being sick we could make all the birds in the world sick instead.

inside text:
feel better

sick instead.
$1.99

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one of my meatballs

outside text:
it brings me such joy to see everyone sharing in the holiday spirit. just yesterday i almost gave a homeless man one of my meatballs.

inside text:
happy holidays

one of my meatballs.
$1.99

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turkey and tarts

outside text:
i love the holidays but also i hate them. i love eating turkey and tarts but i hate making myself throw them up afterwards.

inside text:
happy holidays

turkey and tarts.
$1.99

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